04 March, 2012

Harry, You Disapointed Us

Ah, Harry, you Royal slut. Here we spiffed up Casa Winjama as we were sure you'd be stopping by to quaff a Belikin or two. I had them on ice special for you, y'know. Maybe even take a dip in the pool.

I made sure to take a shower and put on clean shorts and tee shirt. Even shined up my Crocs and trimmed my beard.

So, what happened? Next thing we know, we're reading in the news that you're over in Belmopan at some sleazy street party, drinking One Barrel and shaking your booty with some local filly. We coulda had fillies too.

We had several things lined up for you to see over here. We cleaned all the trash and litter out of the Santa Rita ruins and even managed to clean off some of the graffiti. Cinty's was going to give you a real no-holds-barred tour of their vast operation. We were even going to show you some of our local construction projects. Our neighbor was prepared to give you the twenty-five cent tour of his new concrete block shed - even swept the floor over there.

We were even thinking about taking you down to Miami Beach here in Corozal to sample some barbecued chicken while enjoying the cooling breeze of our waterfront.

What happened? Where did we go wrong? Hey, we'd have probably pulled out all the stops if only you'd have stopped by. We might not have been able to have the Prime Minister or the Governor General to hand, but we'd have been able to get our act together enough to ask the Mayor of Corozal and the Town Council to attend. We probably could have gotten the Ranchito Village Council as well. Hell, we might have been able to scare up a parade down Seventh Avenue for you.

The sky could have been the limit, y'know? But, instead the bright lights of the big city proved just too tempting for the likes of you. None of that small town flavor flavor and atmosphere for you, no sir. I mean, we've even filled in the pot-holes just for you... Oh, wait. That was to get ready for the elections, sorry.

Well, we could have done a bunch of stuff that would have been meaningful and memorable, I'm sure. If nothing else, you could have stopped over at the Cool Spot for a quick one. No, I guess that probably wouldn't have been proper. Still, we'd have shown you a good time if only you'd dropped by.

I guess we really should have sent you an invitation. Sorry about that. Maybe next time.


JRinSC said...

Come on now Dave.. I didn't see anything about a new sign showing some Royal Colors so the cavalcade would know to stop. Lights on the sign would be even better but I guess you should have had one out on the Northern Hwy to steer 'em in.

Oh well, you probably needed to clean up some anyway!


Dave Rider said...

Hi Julian,

I KNEW there was a reason they didn't show up. It never even crossed my mind. Dang it all anyway. Yeah, you're right, some housekeeping was in order.


orchis said...

Hi Dave,
don't be jealous! We had a great time with this guy over here.
Next time, when he's here, I'll give him a ride to your Casa Winjama.

Dave Rider said...

Guten Abend, meine Freunde aus dem Süden. Danke für den humorvollen Kommentar. Also, besucht man die Straße Party für Prinz Harry? Das wäre toll, wenn du ihn bringen könnte hier drüben, aber ich glaube nicht, dass wir auch halten das Haus aufgeräumt, dass lange. Allerdings ist es nicht meine Sprachkenntnisse - ich schulde Google für diese Übersetzung.
As usual, any mistakes are mine alone, even if Google made them.