04 July, 2015

Tougher Than... Well, Just Tough

Last night I came into the bathroom intending to take a shower before going to bed. There was a momentary delay while I flossed and brushed my teeth, and took my prescription pills and vitamins.

While I was doing that I noticed out of the corner of my eye, something that kept flying around the bathroom (Isn't that always the way it is, you always see these critters at the edge of your vision?).

Finishing up with a swig of water to wash the pills down, as I was undressing, I saw the culprit resting on the wall near the toilet paper holder. A doctor fly. I knew it! I'll bet he was just watching me to see what I was going to do so he could plan his attack.
A Doctor Fly. Also Called A Yellow Fly Thanks to the U of Fla. for the foto
Fooling him, I slipped out to the kitchen and retrieved a fly swatter. Luckily, he was still in the same position as when I had left. That usually doesn't happen. My lucky day, I guess.

Putting my glasses back on, so that I'd be sure of getting a good shot at him, I lined up and swung. Using my right hand too, to ensure deadly aim, I missed him - not by much, but enough that he took off toward the ceiling.

With lightning reflexes, I swung with a strong backhand and made contact with him. Unfortunately, I lost track of where I had knocked him. It's a good idea to keep track of the critters after a successful hit, because usually, you have to whack them again to kill them, otherwise, they're likely to just feign death, wait a bit, shiver and shake, and take off to try coming after you again.

Like I said, I lost him, so I undressed, getting ready for my shower. As I was stepping into the shower enclosure, I saw something on the floor of the shower over against the far wall. I looked closer, and sure enough it was the doctor fly I had whacked before, just lying there motionless.

I grabbed the fly swatter once again and clobbered him again, this time knocking him into the middle of the shower. I nudged him onto the fly swatter with my finger and dumped him into the toilet.

As often happens with doctor flies, I was just kind of gazing at him, making sure he was dead, when I noticed a twitch, and another. "Son of a bitch, he's not dead," I thought. I pulled a couple of sheets off the toilet paper roll and covered him with them. I was going to leave him, but thought better of it at that time and so hit the flush lever, sending him to the great septic tank in the sky.

Or so I thought. Here he comes back up swirling around with the water filling the toilet bowl. "Damn. Tough little thing, isn't he?" I said to myself, and grabbed a couple more sheets of toilet paper and covered him with those.

Thinking he was surely done for, I stepped into the shower and proceeded to wash the afternoon and evening's sweat off. As I stepped out of the shower, I glanced into the toilet bowl once again. Uh oh. toilet paper was there floating on the surface, but no doctor fly.

That little begger had out-foxed me completely. Talk about being tough. He survived three good whacks with the fly swatter, one flushing, and two attempted drownings using the toilet paper, and he still managed to make a clean getaway.

I looked for him for a bit, but never saw sign of him again. I even looked this morning. Nothing. Probably just as well. As tough as he hadappeared to be, I'm not sure but that he might have whacked me soundly and then tried to stuff me in the toilet.

Sometimes, it's probably better to wait for another day and try again. Or maybe I need to move one of the blue balls into the bathroom. Doctor flies don't seem to be able to resist those too well.

As an example, here's a shot of the blue beach ball we have hanging in the front breezeway.
Not Well Focused, but Gets the Idea Across
It's probably got fifty or sixty doctor flies stuck to it. I seem to haave better luck with those than with my aim with a fly swatter.

So, the next time you hit a doctor fly, and are tempted to leave him for the ants to remove... Are you sure he's dead - really sure?

15 comments:

Wilma said...

Hey - the sticky beach balls are working for you! Great! I hope you can tell a difference. The Dr flies have been horrible this year for us.

Anonymous said...

Uh ... Dave. I guess you never saw that Twilight Zone episode" A Fear of Spiders" in which a nuisance small spider is flushed down a toilet, but returns larger? Rinse and repeat several times until it is the size of a large dog, and then .....

I wouldn't want to see a Dr. Fly the size of a large dog. You might consider bringing in a glue ball for these jobs,

Best wishes,

Dennis

David Rider said...

Hi Wilma,

Oh, yes. They definitely are working! Of course our numbers here are a lot, lot less than the numbers you and Dennis deal with down there. If nothing else, getting to see their little carcases stuck to the beach balls gives us a psychological lift, but I do think we feel like they're bothering us less this year. It's a great, 'conversation starter' as they say. Still, there's enough doctor flies for us to whack with a swatter every now and then. It's fun to watch the ants cart off the dead and wounded from that. Too bad we can't convince the ants to clean the balls for us.

I don't know how you and Dennis handle it on the Monkey River. How can you even go outside with the huge numbers of doctor flies you have. The attacks must be horrendous.

By the way, Dennis mentioned re-inflating balls as part of the cleaning and adhesive re-application process. How does he do that without getting glue on his face?

Anyway, the balls and all are a great success. Thank you so much for the information. It's fun thinning out their gene pool.

Cheers,
Dave

David Rider said...

Hi Dennis,

Wow! That must be one of the few episodes that I missed. It sounds like a great one. We'd need to keep a machete near the toilet.

Can you imagine the carnage? You'd have to inspect closely before sitting on the throne.

Glad you enjoyed the post.

Cheers,
Dave

Anonymous said...

Hi Dave,
Actually it was Rod Serling's Night Gallery, not The Twilight Zone. Oh well I have a partial memory still.

To reinflate the balls without getting glue on your face: lay the ball on its side on top of a small cardboard box. Insert the pump nozzle into the filling hole. Yup, you need a pump. I got one that BeachBalls.com sold for filling the balls initially. But you will still need disposable gloves to be able to do this. It is messy. But less of a problem than the getting sliced open by the Dr. Flies.

Dennis

David Rider said...

Hi Dennis,
Oooh, Night Gallery. Haven't thought of that one for years. I wonder if my bicycle pump will work. I probably should check out bb.com's site for the proper fitting at least. Thanks for the tip and the reminder about an old fave.
Cheers,
Dave

JRinSC said...

Hi from Vienna, Austria, Dave.
We are on a Viking
River Cruise and stiii get to follow your blog -- talk about computers!
Julian

David Rider said...

Hi Julian,

I thought it had been a while since I heard from you. Those VRC's look like they'd be fun, and really affordable in the off-season.

Never thought about having connectivity on board the cruise. Wow! You'll have to start a blog or something so we can see some pix, etc.

It's good to hear from you. As you can see we're still here, roughing it in paradise.

Cheers,
Dave

JRinSC said...

Hi again. I'll try and send you a pic by email asi don't know how to attach one here. If you know how please let know! This is a castle overlooking Passau, Germany.
Hope it works!
Julian

David Rider said...

Hi Julian,
The picture came through just fine. You asked about posting images in a comment, seek and ye shall find. It was easy. I added the code and instructions at "Need to add an image..." Give it a try. See if it works.
Cheers,
Dave

JRinSC said...

Ok, I give up! I might have a chance on my PC, but I haven't a clue how to do what it says on my Ipad4.
I can't figure how to get the rules of a pic on the Darn thing!
Any idea ?
Julian

David Rider said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
JRinSC said...

Sorry about my last post. Typing on an iPad is quite challenging and the darn thing insists on putting up what it thinks you meant to say and NOT what you actually typed. Case in point -- I know I typed in "URL" but it put "rules" instead!

Oh well, I still have no clue as to how to follow the rule using this wonderful device.

And to make it even more interesting they have changed the keyboards on the two pcs they have in the "Internet cafe" by swapping the "Y" key with the "Z" key! Something to do with the Slavic languages running around here, I guess.

We visit the site of the great national nazi rallies in Nurenburg today! Wow... Never expected to ever do this! I'll send you a pic!

Julian

David Rider said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Patti Husbands said...

Good lord Dave, cannot believe the site did not retain my comments about o/d ing on doctor fly bites during nazi canastra - It was a stone I never forgot - 11 bites on my feet including my soles. It was horrid, I could not ride my bike home. Patti